You're all screwed

Get your buckets ready, folks. In these frigid times, the plumbing of my mind has burst forth mental sewage onto the internet and straight into your homes. Inspired by capitalist propaganda and radical lunacy, I'm here to present you with some good-old-fashioned, totally useless drivel. The kind you used to get from your drunk friend at 3am in college when he decided it was time to "have a serious talk", because that's who I am: your drunk friend.

I'd like to start by telling you all how much I relish the opportunity for us to have a little "me" time together, because that's what it is. Sure, you can write some comments telling me how truly fascinating I am, or how you'd rather I not reveal your full name, phone number and address on the internet, but that doesn't mean I'm going to read any of them. Keep doing it though, because it'll look very impressive to everyone else.

Somebody recently recited a quote from Shawshank Redeption: "How often do you really look at a man's shoes?" Well, personally, I look at peoples shoes a lot, and in New York, most people's shoes are incredibly stupid. I don't mean ugly or too stylized, I mean illogical and stupid. I walked through the streets a week or so ago in the snow. There was a lot of snow, and it had been snowing all day, long before anyone had left their house (i.e. made their shoe decision for the day). What I saw was dozens of people wearing heals and low-cut Euro-style sneakers. One girl was leaning on her boyfriend because she was wearing high-healed boots and trying to walk on an unshoveled sidewalk. How many times have you ever seen a girl wearing Uggs and thought to yourself, "Now that girl is thinkin'." I'm losing my mind.

Food I Ate While I Wrote This:
(I hope to make this a continuous blog feature. I most likely will be writing these between the hours of midnight and 4am. I tend to do a lot of eating during that same period and more often than not, it's some very strange eating, so here it goes.)
Impromptu spinach dip: Sortof an epiphany, very simple. Get out equal volumes (approximately) of frozen spinach (pre-wilted!) and sharp cheddar cheese. Put the spinach in a bowl, cover with water (just barely) and microwave for about 30 seconds, just enough to thaw the spinach. Drain. Toss in the cheese on top, and maybe a little red wine vinegar to taste. Microwave on low for 30 seconds to soften the cheese, stir together and microwave until it all looks melted. Stir, eat with chips.
Drink: I double fisted black tea and orange soda.